Category Archives: Essays and Thoughts

Essays and Thoughts, National Issues, Prophetic Musings

2022: the best and worst of times

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You know that scene in the Lord of the Rings when Gandalf is telling Frodo he must leave with the ring because the Ringwraiths are after him and Samwise hears the conversation and Gandalf asks what he heard and Samwise says emphatically he didn’t hear anything, he wasn’t dropping any eaves, all he heard was a great deal about a ring and the end of the world?  That’s kind of how I feel right now.

I’m pretty sure the outlook for 2022 in America (and probably the world) is grim. 

So I have good news and bad news, and I’m going to deliver the bad news first because the good news is what we need to remember and adhere to.

First, the bad news….

The nutshell is some very difficult times are upon us, and they will be times that try men’s souls.  A number of prophetic messages have been sent or forwarded to me that resonate, and they are messages of judgment and sifting, of exposure and trying.  Phrases like:  brace yourself, prepare for impact, and smoldering pressure leading to eruption…  Judgment against wicked people and wicked schemes are prophesied. 

I’ve been seeking the heart of God to substantiate and/or refute these prophecies/claims.  Here are the three things God showed me:

  • Our money will become worthless.
  • Mortal danger, death and disaster have been decreed on a large scale.
  • China is in America and will wage war on America on American soil.

How any of these scenarios are going to play out, I do not know.  I have best guesses and deductions, but I’m not sure that’s helpful.  Timing has always been the tricky part for me, but I think the Spirit showed me they’re coming sooner than later.

Most of these words and others I have read indicate things that are coming are judgments on wickedness, disobedience, and hypocrisy (in both secular and sacred arenas).  As judgments become meted out the vessels of evil (seemingly untouchable organizations and people groups, and very high profile people in very high positions) will retaliate in an effort to unleash their plans they feel are being thwarted.  There will be innocent casualties.  There will be pain and suffering.

Whether the “war” referenced in Barry’s word was literal or figurative, I do not know.  I am quite certain the Spirit has shown me (and others) that Chinese military is a player here in America even now.  How the U.S. Military will be used has not been revealed to me.  [I know of a real person who accidentally found a real closet on a major college campus with .50 caliber ammo stacked from floor to ceiling.  The enemy is within.]

With those scenarios comes a myriad of fallout…supply chains disrupted, crime unchecked, scarcity of necessities, power outages, etc.  (Not to mention any bio warfare that may or may not be released.)  I have no way of knowing what will impact what region.  The Spirit of God is our best and only defense.

Let me be clear, fear will be one of our primary enemies.  We must refuse the inclination to be paralyzed with fear.  Because fear has been unleashed on our nation for the last two years, the spirit of fear is rampant in America.  We must gird ourselves against this.  We must resist and refuse the control of fear.

Last summer the Lord had me camp out in Psalm 91 and commit it to memory.  On August 5th last year, the Spirit undeniably arrested me with Isaiah 43:2.  I didn’t understand its wide spread implications at the time but I felt an urgency.  He has renewed that message to me with increased fervor these past few days.

Isaiah 43:2:  “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they will not overflow you.  When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched, nor will the flame burn you.”

Trial and testing, judgment and exposure are coming to America in the coming days.  There is only one real safe space.

Now the good news….

That safe place is under the shadow of the Almighty, in the shelter of the Most High.  There is no one and nothing more powerful than the true God.  If we are in obedience to Him, He will make our paths clear in times of chaos, one step at a time.  He is our first and best defense.  He is our protection, our strategy and our advocate.

I had a dream on Labor Day in 2003 that the Lord has shown me I can draw on for direction, wisdom and encouragement for these times.  Here is the dream.  What’s astounding to me is this dream is over seventeen years old and some of its parts make perfect sense for exactly right now.

Notice in the dream that there’s a place of refuge for believers during the fires of trial, testing and purification.  Notice that instructions are given during the waiting period so we know what to do.  And especially notice that Noah’s ark is a predominant fixture here.

When I was pursuing the Spirit on the recent prophetic words coming out, He said to me that I already knew much of it because He has already shown me, and He brought to my mind several dreams over the past two decades.  This dream I had in 2003 is the one He reminded me of when I heard words about fires on the east coast.  (Mind you I don’t know if those are literal fires or symbolic.)  In my dream, the fire that was driving the believers was from the east.

I don’t have enough time to get into it, but on the same day I had the dream, a horrible tragedy happened on I-35 in Kansas that the Spirit began to speak to me through.  The part I want to focus on is this part of Isaiah 35 that God highlighted, (which I am asking if it is for this time as well.  I don’t have the answer on that yet.)

Really read the whole chapter; it’s only ten verses.  But for the sake of our current topic, focus right now on verse four.

While the bad news may seem fearful, do not fear.  “Encourage the exhausted, and strengthen the feeble.   Say to those with anxious heart, ‘Take courage, fear not.’”

Sharpen your swords, don’t hide in the basement.

Hard times are coming, but a place of refuge is available.  Draw on the encouragement from this dream and posit yourselves to be in that place of safety under the shadow of the Almighty, the shelter of the Most High.  We have an enormous opportunity before us!  The Spirit will take care of the goats.  We just need to be positioned correctly.

It’s not what you look at; it’s what you see.

If you see darkness and despair, human tragedy and chaos, you will be inclined to fear.  You will struggle with hope and purpose, and you’ll slip into survival mode.  Survival is one thing, advancing the Kingdom is quite another.  This is our opportunity to advance the kingdom.  There will be ample opportunities to minister to family, friends and neighbors.  There may be opportunities to speak to larger gatherings. 

If supply lines are broken, if food is scarce, break your bread and ask God for the provision as you feed those who have none.  He can multiply bread in 2022 just as easily as He did in Christ’s day on earth.  I’ve driven two hundred miles on an empty tank of gas.  He can even multiply gas. 

Lay your hands on the sick so that they may recover.  Do not fear the poisons they may be releasing.  It’s our inheritance as a saint to be protected from deadly poison.  Some of us will even raise the dead.  It’s our inheritance.  It’s Christ’s command.  Do not go in to this season of testing in fear and anxiety.  Look at it as opportunity to exhibit faith and share the amazing salvation of the One who saved us! 

Turn the things of devastation into opportunities for hope.  Teach people how to seek God, how to find God, how to walk with God.  I don’t know how God is going to do what He’s going to do; I just know I want to be on His side, demonstrating His heart, an ambassador to a dying world.

Consider Dickens’ words, and realize the conundrum of two realities co-existing at the same point in time.  Determine to take hold of the hand of God and not look back. 

Recall the countless examples of God’s people over time.  Some were spared great tragedy and others walked through the flames.  Determine here and now to be the salt and light this nation so desperately needs.  Remember that those who know their God shall be strong and do mighty exploits.  [Daniel 11:32]

Remember that:  “Those who have insight will shine brightly like the brightness of the expanse of heaven, and those who lead the many to righteousness, like the stars forever and ever.” [Daniel 12:3]

Do not miss that, “Many will be purged, purified and refined, but the wicked will act wickedly; and none of the wicked will understand, but those who have insight will understand.”  [Daniel 12:10]

God is doing a work in the land, and we can join Him, learn the lessons we need to learn, let His fires refine us, or we can resist Him, call Him a hard or severe master (Luke 19:25) and let the fires burn us.  We can be lights in the darkness and salt in the time of peril if we choose.  Let us choose to encourage the brethren to keep the faith, and let us honor God with our words and deeds, for the Glory of His perfect Name.

Dreams, Essays and Thoughts

The fires, the house, and the hot tub

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September 1, 2003 dream

In the dream, Bill and I were in a van with our pastor and his wife.  For some very odd reason, I was driving.  We were out in the country, it seemed south of town.  It felt like down in Osage county or maybe a bit more south.  I was apparently familiar with the territory, and knew where we were going.  I was headed east on a dirt road, and we were conversing as we were driving along.

I saw in the distance billowing smoke.  I remember either thinking or saying that they must be burning pasture.  We kept driving.  As we traveled further east, the smoke grew larger.  I thought it must be a very large pasture.  Then we saw a stray cow or two on the road.  I wondered if the smoke if the smoke had driven them out or if a gate or fence was down.  We passed them as they were going down the road, westward. 

After a short distance we saw several more cattle, and the smoke was getting denser.  Then it was almost like a herd of cattle was being driven west down the road from the smoke and fire.  We realized we would not be able to drive into it and I turned onto a road heading north. 

After a short distance, I turned into a rather large homestead.  There was a large home, though I didn’t pay attention to it.  I parked the van, and we got out.  We walked around the house to the back of the house.  Around the back was a large patio, and then in a sort of semi-circle around that were three of four out buildings.  The nearest one to us was a small house, which I immediately discerned as servant’s quarters.  The other two or three buildings I did not pay attention to.

We stood there on the patio and looked at this large hot tub.  It was so large I immediately sensed it could seat thirty people.  It was unusual in size, rather oblong and oval in shape.  It reminded me in a way of the pirate ships, as the back of it rose up like such ships.  It was brown, and not made of wood.  The material it was made of I didn’t necessarily recognize.  As we stood there looking at it, we noticed it depicted a scene from Noah’s ark on it.  There were three dimensional images of animals in pairs along the side.  I’ve never seen anything like it.  We commented on it, and how we may be able to relax in this hot tub that night while we were waiting (for the fire crisis to pass).

The hot tub was rounder than this, but one end went up like this. (no flags or sails)

Then we turned and walked into the servant’s quarters little house, as though we knew that’s where we were to be.  A short period of time elapsed, and I had gone out to do something near the patio, though I don’t recall what.  Then I went back into the house.  It almost made me think of a shack of sorts.  It was more of a one or two room building/house, with some cupboards and a stove/kitchenette area.  There was a small round table along the west wall, with two chairs at it.

I crossed the room and sat in the furthest chair, which would have its back to the south.  There was a small window without a screen, open, just above the table.  The pastor was sitting in the opposite chair; Bill and the pastor’s wife were standing there in that area.  This is the first I noticed the kids were with us and were playing games on the floor. 

The door opened and an old couple walked in.  The wife came in first with her husband behind her.  It was as though they were expecting us.  The woman was small and apparently very old with white hair, yet perfectly fit.  She had kind eyes and a warm smile and began talking with us and giving us instructions on where to go to get things, wash up, etc.  The man came in behind her, and was so tall I never saw his face.  When I tried to see it, there was a shadow from how low the ceiling was compared to how tall he was. 

As the woman was speaking, I looked out the window and saw these animals coming across the lawn from the south heading north.  It was evident they were being driven by the fire.  The best I can tell, they were goats, yet they had the stature of men.  There was a goat in the lead, and then a large group following.  The lead goat looked across and saw us in the window of the house.  He seemed to talk or motion in some way to the rest of the goats, pointing to us.  I knew they were furious that we were in shelter while they were in peril.  I instantly knew this was trouble and they were inclined to harm us.  I stood up to reach outside the window and pull the exterior shutters in to shut them.  As I did, the goats began charging the window.  The lead goats head butted through the window at me, and at that moment, I glanced over and the old woman was coming across the floor towards me, saying, “oh this will be no problem.  I’ll take care of this.”  She picked up an iron skillet and swung it, hitting the goat squarely in the head.

Interpretation notes:

This dream is for the church, (the called out Believers of Christ not an institution).  (represented by us and our pastor)  It also represents our families in this hour it symbolizes.  (remember I saw our children only after we were on the property and in the servant’s quarters)  The “hour” represented here is a time of fire upon our land.

Cattle represent “children of the Kingdom”.  The fires of testing, purification and judgment drive the children of the Kingdom west.  West symbolizes “end or last”. 

While we were driving east, we were forced off the road to go north.  North stands for spiritual, heavenly, and/or spiritual warfare. 

The homestead was a spiritual haven, a refuge, a place of respite.  The servant’s quarters behind it were allotted for us.  There’s a place of refuge in the midst of the trials and warfare.  Our place is not yet in the house, but in the servant’s quarters, as that is who we are on the earth:  God’s servants.

The hot tub being in the shape of a ship and depicting Noah’s ark is the most profound part to me.  This speaks of the provision of safety for the children of God, just as it was in Noah’s day.  There’s a place reserved for us.  Notice that we were driven there by the fires. 

The woman in the dream represented the Holy Spirit and the man represented God.  They have instructions for us in this waiting period, this time we’re driven off the thoroughfare to wait it out.  They have a place of safety and also relaxation (hot tub).

Goats represent sinners, unbelievers, negative persons, strife and/or argumentative.  Those in peril from the fires God is sending will be enraged by our place of safety and provision.  They will want very much to attack us, but the Spirit will shield us and take care of the attackers.

Note there were no cattle in that last scene, only goats.  There’s a separation between the children of God and the scorners, unbelievers.

Raw, Things I've Learned Along the Way

Hobbes

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Your life may be a symphony, but mine is one allegory after another. 

A symphony would be nice.  I’d like a symphony.  Some nice strings contending with some pan flutes as the occasion arises for change….a slow rhythmic bass drum in the routine sections of normal living… crescendos to a snare solo leading to some brass as a life situation gets more dramatic, slowing back down to a woodwind melody as it evens out… Yeah, a symphony would be nice.

But my life seems intent on playing out in prophetical allegory.  It probably wouldn’t make a difference if I actually wanted something different.  This seems one of the ways God gets my attention, draws parallels from scenarios to help me understand.  Sometimes it’s pretty cool, like the time my husband bought me a mini cooper and the Spirit indicated a new season of ministry for me by characteristics of the car.  It wasn’t so cool when the rod broke in a flash flood – that was an allegory too. 

When my daughter totaled our new favorite car days before Christmas a few years ago, I resisted the allegory God put in my spirit that our family was totaled by a seeming small thing.  In real life she had my small dog in the car, and she said he distracted her and she swerved into a parked car.  This was a painful lesson on about every front, but the Spirit incessantly whispered, “But your daughter is unharmed.” 

I knew we weren’t out of the woods when we replaced the car.  It seemed like just a fill in for some reason, not as good as the one we delighted in.  Bill was never really content with it and ended up selling it for a loss to our daughter’s boyfriend to help him out.  The car we replaced that one with has been the bane of Bill’s car existence for the duration of this car.  It was in a front end accident and completely refurbished.  On the outside it looked so good – for about a month.  Then we noticed the paint job was shoddy, and the door was bent.  There were paint drips and bubbles we missed at first inspection, and some rust spots on the hood.  The stereo only partially worked, the dash had a small crack that grew larger the longer we had the car.  One of the consoles didn’t always close correctly.  I was endangered when two weeks after buying the car I was stuck in a snow storm in western Colorado and learned while driving through a blizzard that the windshield wiper was disconnected to the reservoir.  That was literally life and death scary. 

Somewhere in the disillusion of the new car that was continually surprising me with weak points, the Spirit indicated it was the current condition of our family.  I didn’t care for that analogy so I ignored it – until I couldn’t ignore it anymore.  My family had been in an accident and the damage was manifesting in a myriad of “lesser” ways as the days turned into months. 

As Bill grumbled about the continuing and increasing car issues, the Spirit quietly paralleled them to our family issues.  The only consolation I received in these times was “but the engine is good”.  All of the flaws on the car were cosmetic and minimal.  They did not impact the cars drive-ability or its road worthiness.  (minus the blizzard drive that one time)  It was crazy low miles on the car, with an engine that was rock solid.  So that is what I would tell Bill as he would complain about something else he discovered.  “It’s okay, dear.  The engine is good.”

This is not a favorite lesson of mine.  I have a feeling we’ll have this car until resolution in our family happens.  That’s just the way my life works.  The allegory God is using to speak to me about a condition in my life exists until I either learn what I need to understand, or the allegory is resolved.

The interesting lesson in this is we bought a used car with crazy low miles.  It was a salvage title and we were told it was because it had some minor repair work.  After owning the car we realized it was a bit more than minor.  There was a front-end collision once upon a time and the damage from that accident lent itself to the current less than optimal “fixes”.  I was unaware of the accident of the car, just as I was unaware of the accident in my family. 

Because of my own childhood and the issues I brought into our marriage and subsequently our family, you could say I was a salvage title.  Because of my state in the early years of our family, before healing and before deliverance, there was damage in our earlier family that somehow was masked with some paint jobs and hastily reconstructed repair work.  Now, years later, it is manifesting in similar ways.

So when my beloved cat uncharacteristically disappeared a few weeks ago and normal efforts at locating him failed, I figured this was another lesson for me.  As the hours turned to days turned to weeks, I countered my husband’s optimism of Hobbes’ return with carefully meted out realism:  Hobbes will not return until I have learned what I need to learn from his disappearance.

I wrote about the time I was attacked by a dog and it was an allegory for a belief system that was dangerous.  Sometimes the allegory speaks louder than the actuality.  I’m not here to argue about whether all of the extra circumstances in one’s life are allegories.  I wouldn’t pretend that God speaks to everyone the same.  I know in fact that He does not.  But over the years, I have learned to pay attention to how God may be speaking to me.  If it’s out of the ordinary, if it doesn’t follow regular routine and my normal circumstances, more times than not God is using it to illustrate a concept to me I may not otherwise receive.

Hobbes’ disappearance was another of these for me.

The way it works for me….

God is so much a personal God that all I can do is tell how it works for me but with the disclaimer that it will be different for you.  But maybe in the telling of my own experience it will help someone seek out how God speaks to them.

I am wired to search for meaning.  I seek understanding and meaning in practically everything.  It’s how I’m wired.  I have a daughter who is wired to see art.  I have another daughter who is wired to see sequence and logic.  If we think for a minute that God is going to show each of them the same thing in the same way, we don’t understand God.  He speaks to us individually.

To the best of my ability, I have submitted my life to God.  It’s a process, but it’s a process that I’m continually growing in.  God knows how I think and process, and He speaks to me through my understanding of my own particular process.  This is how I know when a life circumstance out of the ordinary is an allegory for understanding that God is using to teach or illustrate something to me. 

In the case of Hobbes, here’s my reality that God was using to speak through:  I live on a busy street in the middle of a capital city.  I used to live on a farm.  Because I live on a busy street in a busy city, I did not want an outdoor cat.  I did not want the heartache of it being hit by a car.

A couple Christmases ago, Bill thought I needed a cat and got me an adorable kitten. 

I kept Hobbes inside for the winter, and let him out in the backyard in the spring to acclimate.  But as is the reality for cats, they love to explore.  Hobbes eventually outgrew the backyard and was off about the neighborhood. 

It was too stressful for me to worry about Hobbes’ welfare outside of my property so I had a chat with God.  I told Him I knew Hobbes was more important to God than even to me, and I was trusting that God would care for Hobbes outside of my jurisdiction.  I plead the Blood of Christ over my home, my property, and all that pertains to me daily.  I entrusted Hobbes into God’s care, and that is how I manage to have a cat that I love in the middle of the city.

So when Hobbes disappeared, it was never a question to me that it was an accident.  I knew it was not.  I have deliberately entrusted my cat into the care of my Father.  When Hobbes hadn’t returned in a few days, I began the normal process I normally go through when the routine has been changed:  I asked God what I was supposed to learn or understand. 

There was an immediate parallel my mind drew to some actions of some of my daughters, but I pushed it away because I didn’t like the parallel and I ignored it.  After so many days of this, I was forced to look at it again by my own hard-wiring of seeking understanding and meaning.  I was annoyed and maybe a little angry.  I’ve suffered a lot of loss lately, and the loss of my cat was personal to the inclusion of just me.  I lashed out at God, said something like, “I’m getting a little tired of all these lessons!”  He responded, “Break it down.  What does it [Hobbes’ disappearance/loss] speak to you in its simplest terms?” 

After some thought, I hard-lined it like this:  “I’ve lost something precious to me.”  He let me sit on that a few days and He asked me what that could parallel.  To me, it parallels intimate relationship I’ve lost with my daughter(s).  After a few days, I asked Him what I was supposed to be learning.  (It took me a few days because the pain was so poignant.)  He said, “What could you have done differently to keep Hobbes from leaving?  What do you think you did that caused it?” 

After some thought, I replied, “I don’t know.  I couldn’t have loved him more.  I met all his needs.  He was well loved, well cared for.  I don’t know what I could have done differently.”  And God said, “Exactly.  It wasn’t anything you did or didn’t do.”

Then He said, “I knew you wouldn’t believe it with your daughters so I used your cat.  You didn’t do anything wrong.  They didn’t leave because of you.  It’s not your fault.”

You see, I lost something precious to me, precious relationship with my daughter(s).  And I have believed for a long time it was my fault.  They may even believe it is my fault.  But God says it isn’t.  And I have a choice to believe God or not. 

I usually can’t explain these things to others.  It’s one of those things that I’ve learned over time on how God speaks to me.  I realize it may sound fantastical or over-imaginative to some.  I can’t help that, nor do I want to.  All I know is God is real.  He speaks to me through dozens of things:  songs, nature, my husband, numbers, dreams, and my circumstances, to name a few. 

He knows I seek meaning and look for purpose.  He speaks to me in things I have no control over so I don’t question whether I manipulated (even inadvertently) a situation.  He knows I pay attention to the details and I ask the difficult question.  He knows I get angry or annoyed or confused.  So He takes those things into account.  I knew Hobbes was going to stay missing until I learned what God was trying to show me.

So just past midnight two nights ago, Hobbes showed up.  I asked God for Hobbes to come home on Christmas, but I knew he wouldn’t.  I felt like God wasn’t going to allow him to show up when someone else was here, because it was a lesson just for me.  He showed up just past midnight when I was in bed about to go to sleep.  Bill was at work for another 20 minutes.

Besides thanking God for Hobbes’ safe return, I’ve had a few conversations with Him about what all I’m supposed to be learning.  Here’s what he showed me yesterday:  “The earth is the Lord’s and everything in it.”  (Psalm 24:1)  I entrusted my cat to God’s care, and God can be trusted.  Even more so, I entrusted my children to God’s care.  They could not be in better hands. 

I know the nature of a cat is to explore, and I have not desired for a moment to restrain my cat from its natural instincts.  It’s more important to me that Hobbes is free to come and go, than to restrain him in my home unable to leave.  I am willing to suffer the uncertainty of Hobbes’ return in order for him to be free to operate as he was created.  I have done the same with my children.  It is more important to me that they be free, than carefully restrained in limitations I design for their safety.  I don’t find a life restrained from its original purposes of freedom a fair life, and so I have entrusted all that the Lord has given me to the Lord to keep and preserve.  It may at times have undesirable outcomes for me, but I am not willing to circumvent freedom to change outcomes.

Sometimes it’s hard, these allegories and the realities they represent.  But sometimes it’s redeeming.  Either way, I’m grateful God reaches out to me to help me on this journey of life.  One day we’ll get a new car, an undamaged car.  I’m gonna guess when that happens, our family will be mended quite nicely by then.

Essays and Thoughts, National Issues, Prophetic Musings

This Sifting Season We’re In

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“Simon, Simon, behold, Satan [the accuser] has demanded permission to sift you like wheat; but I have prayed for you, that your faith may not fail; and you, when once you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.”  Luke 22:31-32  NASU

And that word translated “demanded permission” can also be translated “obtained by asking” and comes from the Greek root “exaiteomai” which means “to demand for trial”.  Most of us know the rest of that story, that Simon went on to deny Christ at great personal cost to himself, but was later restored and led the disciples in upheaving the world for the Gospel.  [literally the good news of Christ]

The concept of sifting wheat is to remove the chaff from the grain.  The chaff is the inedible part, the worthless part (for use).  Some of the implication we can draw from this is that the enemy is used to separate the worthless from the good.

The season we are in….

This is part of the season we are in; the sifting has started.  The interesting part is it’s going to vary person to person.  The chaff that I need removed from my life is probably not the same chaff you need removed from your life.  God is a personal God, and the powers of darkness are not ignorant to the weaknesses and compromises of humans either corporately or individually.  I don’t think time is going to be wasted taking you through financial hardship if it won’t address the chaff in your life.  Your trial is more likely to come in an area that will put a finger on the sensitive area that will bring the areas of correction needed for you, if you heed the lessons before you.

There are precious few people I know right now that are not going through some sort of direct or indirect (someone they love) trial or tribulation of varying degree.  Our nation as a whole is going through a sifting, and there’s a lot of chaff here.  There are a lot of worthless attitudes, belief systems, demonstrations, etc. that permeate our society and culture.  Do I think they’ll be eradicated by this sifting process?  Some, but not most. 

The purpose of the sifting will be to expose, to lay bare that which is worthless.  Dealing with humanity we still have the reality that choices are still options.  Because a particular music or entertainment “star” is exposed for worthless or vile activity, does not necessarily mean they will be shut down.  What it will do is lay bare their intentions and alliances.  Now we can choose with better information if we want to align with them.  (And believe me, even with exposure, some will still choose the vile.  They will ignore or excuse it, and they will not turn from it.)

So on a national level, industries and organizations, persons and personalities are being sifted.  We should be watching for the chaff that is coming to the surface.  We should be reassessing our own views of these institutions (including the U.S. Government).  We should be breaking alliances and allegiances to things found worthless and vile

It’s a painful process, but a necessary one. 

Sifting is separation. 

What is God separating?  The worthless from the useful or valuable.  We should be grateful God is allowing this sifting season.  If we were to hit the season of judgment before the season of sifting, we’d all fall condemned.  But because He is sifting FIRST, we have the opportunity to be cleansed of what would condemn us.  We have the opportunity to let the sifting process do its work in us that we may be found of value as judgments are released. 

Study Ezekiel 9 to begin to understand the implications of this season.  Here’s an excerpt for emphasis:

The Lord said to him [angelic servant of God], “Go through the midst of the city, even through the midst of Jerusalem, and put a mark on the foreheads of the men who sigh and groan over all the abominations which are being committed in its midst.” But to the others He said in my hearing, “Go through the city after him and strike; do not let your eye have pity and do not spare.  Utterly slay old men, young men, maidens, little children, and women, but do not touch any man on whom is the mark; and you shall start from My sanctuary.”

Ezekiel 9:4-6 NASU

During the sifting process, the records of Heaven are taking note.  Are you sighing and groaning over the abominations in our midst?  Or have you turned a blind eye?  Or worse, are you joining with them?  Applauding them?

[Don’t miss that He starts in the sanctuary.  The Church is the first place He begins. (1Peter 4:17)  Watch the idols of the church be exposed.  Watch practicing sin be exposed.]

There’s a marking going on.  Remember Malachi 3:16-18?

Then those who feared the Lord spoke to one another, and the Lord gave attention and heard it, and a book of remembrance was written before Him for those who fear the Lord and who esteem His name.  “They will be Mine,” says the Lord of hosts, “on the day that I prepare My own possession, and I will spare them as a man spares his own son who serves him.”  So you will again distinguish between the righteous and the wicked, between one who serves God and one who does not serve Him.

God is paying attention to our conversations.  It’s not lost on Him.  A book of remembrance is taken down of those who esteem Him.  He makes plain that there will be a distinction between the righteous and wicked, between those who serve God and those who do not.  Those who He has marked will be spared on a future day of calamity and judgment.

I can already hear some of the protests.  But if that’s true, why is evil so prevalent?  Why hasn’t there been an accounting before now?  Why have I suffered for doing good while my neighbor or family member has prospered who is friends with the ways of this world?  Because God has a timetable.

Recall that when God was making His covenant with Abraham, He said there would be a delay for the promise for four hundred years.  Why?  Because the “iniquity of the Amorite is not yet complete”.   [See Gen. 15:16]

Last time I checked, God has not revealed His timetable for judgment.  What it takes for the sins of a people to become complete unto judgment has not been disclosed to me.  Why it took four hundred more years for a people group who served other gods to be judged I do not know.  Why America has not been judged for the increasing and prevalent wickedness in its midst, I do not know.  I do know, that his patience is mercy, but there is a time patience is spent and mercy is set aside.  When that time comes, being positioned under the shadow of the Almighty is the only place of protection.

There are two places a sieve (tool for sifting) is used in Scripture.  Notice that both times it is an expression of judgment.

We should posture ourselves correctly during this sifting

Remember what Peter admonished:

Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon you for your testing, as though some strange thing were happening to you;

1 Peter 4:12-13 NASU

This trial, this tribulation you and/or those you love are facing right now, Peter calls a “fiery ordeal”.  I would say the same for the trial my family is under right now, and even those around me in the midst of fiery ordeals and trials.  What did Peter say it is here for?  Your testing. 

And he should know.

While the national sifting is one thing, our personal sifting is another.  There are areas in each of our lives that will not withstand the winds of judgment.  (and they are coming)  God, in His mercy, has unfurled a season of sifting to get our attention to things that need put under the Sovereignty of God and the Lordship of Christ. 

Learn to seek Him in your trial in a way that isn’t just asking for reprieve or rescue.  Learn to ask what you’re supposed to be learning.  Learn to listen and observe what He is bringing to the forefront in your own thoughts, attitudes, words and actions.  There are clues in them.  They will show areas not submitted to God, areas of pain or anger (or other things) that we’re holding on to that are keeping us bound. 

I thought it was interesting that the words of Christ to Peter warning him of his upcoming trial, the word “sift” was selected as opposed to other word(s) usually associated with trials.  Thayer defined that word as, “to sift, shake in a sieve, by inward agitation to try one’s faith to the verge of overthrow”.

Are you being sifted right now?  Is there a trial in your life that is shaking you?  Do you feel inward agitation?  Do you realize it is designed to try your faith in order to overthrow it?  Get rid of the chaff so that the kernel of value is not lost because you’re holding on to the chaff (which will be burned).  Let the sifting process have its way so the worthless is removed and you can be protected in the shelter of the Most High. 

Let the chaff be separated from you and then…

Lastly, remember what Christ told Peter:  that He prayed for him.  He prayed that Peter’s faith not fail. 

Ask the Holy Spirit to intercede for you.  Recall Paul’s instruction in Romans 8:26-27…

 In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words;  and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.

Then remember Christ’s instruction about what we’re to do when we get through our own trial(s) of faith:  strengthen your brother. 

Take your strengthened faith and reach out to your brothers and sisters still in their trials.  Pray for them, minister to them, encourage them in the faith to hold to the teachings of Christ, to submit to the discipline of the Spirit, to respond with repentance at exposure of sin, wrong thinking, wrong attitudes, disobedience, etc. 

Meditate on Psalms 51 and 91.  Psalm 51 for your cleansing, healing and restoration.  Psalm 91 for your position in Him and for your protection.  Let the sifting prepare you for the days ahead.  Understand the separating is for your benefit (if you submit) and not your harm.  His mercy is available for this process, but will not be as readily available for the next.  Thank Him for His mercies.

Current Events, Essays and Thoughts

Investigate Covid Vaccines from a Chemical Standpoint

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German chemist Dr. Andreas Noack has released an explosive video on findings with the covid vaccines.  To keep this from being too long, I’m going to insert resources within the text for corroborating data points instead of expounding on them in the text.

Dr. Noack released this video on November 23, 2021, and it was transcribed (from German to English) on November 25.  On Wednesday, November 24, Dr. Noack gave an interview with German Harald Thiers.  On Saturday, November 27, Dr. Noack’s wife made a video presentation stating Dr. Noack was dead, with the implication of foul play.  I have not been able to validate the details of Dr. Noack’s death.

[I don’t have time or space to get into the speculations about Dr. Noack’s death right now, but it needs investigated.  It’s extremely difficult to ascertain information about German affairs from a desk in America.]

Dr. Noack explained in his video that, “There is a professor from the University of Almeira, Dr. Pablo Campra.  He studied the vaccines for the presence of graphene oxide using micro-raman spectroscopy.  It is the study of frequencies.  There are frequency bands.  Two of those bands are important.  They show that it is not graphene oxide but rather graphene hydroxide.”

Dr. Campra’s seventeen page report was published June 28, 2021.  Biostatistican Richard Delgado, (Ricardo Delgado Martin of Spain*), was working with Dr. Jose Luis Sevillanos (a Spanish doctor in France) to scientifically examine the covid vaccines when they discovered the presence of graphene oxide in them from micro-raman spectroscopy tests.  These tests measure the thermal conductivity of carbon fibers, carbon nanotubes, and graphene.  (Obviously it would be hard to measure the conductivity if the material wasn’t even present.)  They provided magnified photos of what was found in the vaccine. 

*(not to be confused with the Marxist Richard Delgado from the University of Alabama and CRT architect)

Dr. Noack explains that the substance they classified as graphene oxide is actually a reduced graphene oxide called graphene hydroxide because of its monoatomic layers of carbon that form chains 50nm long and .1nm thick.  He said its qualities are comprised of jagged edges he likens to razor blades.  I’ll quote him further down.

Look at the pictures provided in the Campra report linked above, or a recap here.  Here is a picture comparison of the covid vaccine magnified to 200 nanometers beside a 500 nanometer magnification of graphene.  It was pretty obvious to those who work with graphene that graphene is indeed present in the vaccines.

Now this next photo is a comparison of the vaccine using an optical microscopy at a much lower magnification than the nanometer measurements.  They found that the vaccine sample has the same characteristic of folding as graphene oxide does.

They released their findings and the academia and talking heads scrambled to discredit it, but the pictures don’t lie.  The people involved with this scientific analysis concluded the vaccines were largely constructed of graphene oxide.  The talking heads argue that the patents don’t have graphene oxide as an ingredient, but ignore the fact that they don’t have to disclose “trade secrets” in the patent ingredients, (and the covid vaccines contain undisclosed trade secrets).

Dr. Noack is a specialist in activated carbon.  When he evaluated and examined this material, he concluded that the substance was not graphene oxide, but graphene hydroxide.  He explained it (in the video) like this:

I would like to explain what graphene hydroxide is.  It is mono-layer activated carbon.  There are C6 rings.  He found them in all samples.  Every corner is a carbon atom.  This is on a nano-scale.  If it is 50nm long, there are 500 rings in a row.  These are hydroxy groups (OH). 

In graphene oxide you have double bonded oxygen.  In graphene hydroxide you have an OH group. 

The electrons are delocalized (fully mobile).  The piece is 50nm long but only .1nm thick.  These C6 structures are extremely stable.  You can make brake pads out of this.  It is not biologically decomposable.  These nano scale structures can best be described as razor blades.  These razor blades are injected into the body – nanoscale tiny razor blades, only one atom layer thick – relatively wide and high.  They are razors, biologically not decomposable.

The OH (hydroxyl) groups can be split off a proton.  When the proton is split off, they gain a negative charge spread out over the whole system.  It is basically an acid.  It suspends well in water because of the negative charge. 

So these are razor blades spread homogenously in the liquid. 

This was a fascinating chemistry abstract that explained the characteristics of graphene hydroxide.  It explains that while a single hydroxyl causes magnetic properties (remember those videos with metal sticking to people’s arms at the injection site?), there’s a greater tendency for them to double adsorb on graphene as pairs which is NOT magnetic.  Notice what it says here:  “It is possible to build graphene-based electronic circuits from graphene hydroxide without the need for cutting or etching.”  Does this indicate the quality of sharpness Dr. Noack is speaking of when he calls them “razor blades”?  I’m asking because I don’t know.

Another interesting thing was the quality of hydroxyl to adsorb to graphene.  Adsorb (NOT absorb) is the ability to “cause a substance to form a very thin layer on the surface of another”.  This is demonstrated in the second set of pictures above with the optical microscopy.  Clearly the substance is adsorbing.

This article indicates the electrical capabilities of graphene hydroxide, which state it transports electrons and they even call it a “supercapacitor”.  Do you remember the testimonies of the Travis Scott concert?  Young people described chest pains and breathing difficulties akin to heart attacks.  I’ve talked about this before, but the human body carries electrical charges and is in fact an electrical field.  There is a very real scenario of the human electrical field coming into contact with other electrical fields and frequencies.  Sometimes this results in injury, disease, or death.

Would the presence of graphene hydroxide in the human body cause an enhancement to the electron load in the cells?  One of the concert goers said when the music was playing they were laboring to breathe, but that when the music stopped between songs, they were able to inhale again.  If there are additional storages of electricity coursing through the body and it’s exposed to additional frequencies, how does the human body handle the surges of electrons?  Where or how does it release the abundance of electrons the human electrical field cannot handle?

Dr. Noack goes on to say that the injection of graphene hydroxide into the human body becomes a game of chance.  He says it like this:

This is basically Russian Roulette. 

You can see it very clearly in this woman. [He showed a photo of a woman whose breasts were engorged.]   It cuts the blood vessels.  The blood vessels have epithelial cells in their inner lining.   The epithelial is extremely smooth, like a mirror.  And it is cut up by these razor blades.  That is what is so dangerous. 

If you inject a vaccine into a vein, the razors will circulate in the blood and cut up the epithelial. 

The mean thing is that toxicological tests are done in Petri dishes.  And there you will not find anything. 

These are the sharpest imaginable structures because they are only one atom layer thick.  This is a huge molecule which is extremely sharp. 

I am a specialist in activated carbon.  In my doctoral thesis I have converted graphene oxide to graphene hydroxide.  I joined the world leading activated carbon manufacturer.  After a year I was in charge of new activated carbon products.  We bought a small company near Newcastle, England.  I was in charge of new carbon products Europe wide.  I was in application scouting.  If you perform an autopsy on the victims, you will not find anything.  Toxicologists do their tests in Petri dishes.  They cannot imagine that there are structures that can cut up blood vessels. 

There are pictures of coagulated blood coming out of the nose.  People bleed to death on the inside.  Especially the top athletes who are dropping dead have fast-flowing blood.  The faster the blood flows, the more damage the razors will do. 

As a chemist, if you inject this into the blood, you know you are a murderer.  It’s a new material.  Toxicologists are not aware of it yet.  Suddenly it makes sense that victims look like this.  [image of woman with engorged breasts]  And that top athletes with high blood circulation, completely healthy, suddenly drop dead.  You see people immediately collapse after vaccination and have a seizure.  These people had bad luck in the Russian Roulette – very likely a vein was hit by the syringe. 

The question you have to ask politicians and doctors, the question doctors should ask Pfizer, is why are there these razor blades in the vaccine?  Now they want to force vaccinate  children from the age of five. 

An important concept in science is disputation – a scientific debate.  The basis of medicine or pharmaceuticals is chemistry.  This doctor has no idea about chemistry.  Completely new substances unknown to nature are brought in (with the vaccines). 

Everyone is talking about the messenger RNA which has complex effects.  The theory of mRNA is complex.  But every chemist understands what this (the graphene hydroxide) does.  The mRNA story is possibly a diversion. 

I cannot imagine anyone will be able to give me as a carbon specialist a proper explanation why these carbon razor blades are in the vaccine. 

This is war.

They distract us with the messenger RNA.  But people cannot collapse that quickly from right after the injection.  Something else is going on.  And this effect should be studied. 

After the Spanish doctor’s study, it is official that nano scale graphene (hydr)oxide is in the vaccine.  So it is clear that razor blades are injected…  If you want to inject a whole population by force, you have to do your homework extremely carefully.  Because if there is something wrong in the injection, you will kill the whole population of a country.  You have to weigh the risk.  How dangerous is corona?  How dangerous is the injection?  This guy (Dr. Szekers, president of the Austrian medical board) wonders if people should be tied up before being injected.  And he’s the top doctor?!  Are the doctors in Austria so incompetent that they don’t understand the basic chemistry medicine is based on?  Then they should surrender their license! 

Any doctor in Austria, who, after this information is now public continues to inject this, is a murderer. 

I am not some guy in the carbon field.  I doctored in this area.  I worked for the world’s biggest activated carbon manufacturer.  In the area of new carbon experts, I was the only expert in Europe.  I’m pretty much the only European who visited other experts in Pittsburgh.  After this I started my own activated carbon company.  I resinified (sic) paper and turned it into activated carbon membranes.  You could cut your hands with this charred paper.  It was extremely sharp.  I have a good idea what the graphene hydroxide does. 

Do you think a pediatrician understands what graphene oxide is?  There is another interview where he (Szekers) says he thinks it’s “good” from a medical standpoint to vaccinate the population by force. 

In Germany or Austria, there is nobody with my expertise.  The leading German carbon specialist, Dr. Harmut von Kienle, was my mentor for one year.  I wrote my thesis in this field.  I started my company in this field and won a business plan competition in Wolfsburg.  I won DM 175,000 in the competition.  I received venture capital to the tune of six million DM.  I had ten developers to develop these new carbon products.  I know what I am talking about.  Any chemist in the chat is invited to refute me or give another opinion.  You are all invited.  Tell me I am wrong.  Sir Karl Popper explained the fundamentals of science.  Hypothesis – refutation.  Popper said it is better to kill theories than to kill humans.

It is Russian Roulette.  Do you hit the vein or not?  Does it stay in the muscle?  Then it is less toxic.  But if you hit a vein and the batches contain different amounts of GHO, then you have to know you are cutting people up from the inside.  And it is a highly intelligent poison, because a normal toxicologist who works with Petri dishes cannot find it, because it doesn’t move.  Toxicologists just don’t expect any nano scale razors. 

But I can say as a chemist that we are absolutely certain that the graphene hydroxide is in there.  These are nano scale razor blades.  Now they want to inject children with these nano-sized razors. 

As a chemist, I vouch for the fact that these are nanoscale razor blades.  You can make brake pads from carbon structures which last forever.  This material has zero biological degradability.  It stays in the body forever.  Even if people don’t drop dead immediately it cuts up the blood vessels little by little.  It destroys the heart….all the heart attacks….all the strokes…

As a doctor you have to ask, where is this coming from?  If you understand that razors are being injected, it is clear why all the cardiovascular diseases appear.  The heart is cut up.  The brain is cut up.  Blood vessels are cut up.  These graphene structures (aka monolayer carbon or monolayer graphite) are so stable.  Every chemist knows this.  They are not degradable.  The structure is 50nm long and .1nm thick.  Of course it is a razor!  Every chemist knows it is. 

The epithelial cells are extremely smooth for good reason, but become rough when cut up like this, and things stick to it.  By now, every idiot can inject this.  And when they hit a vein… to me this is Russian Roulette. 

Here’s a Petri dish.  [visual on screen]  A normal toxicologist tests using a Petri dish.

This material is declared an “experimental vaccine” for a reason.  They don’t know what will happen.  Every vaccinated subject has to sign that they will take full responsibility.  It will take fifty years until the contracts with Pfizer will be published.  What is in these contracts?  Why fifty years? 

I am ready to talk to anyone about this material.  As a chemist, I say these are razor blades.  And I notice how little doctors know about chemistry.  But they are doing chemistry in the body, in small children, in pregnant women.  And now you doctors know what you are doing.  And if you continue to inject, you are murderers.  Go out.  Type this out.  Give it to your doctor; give it to your politicians.  And if you continue, I promise you, no court in the world will save you.  What you are doing is mass murder.  Austria has the responsibility.  They started the vaccine mandate.  Share the video.  Write it down.  Put it on a USB stick and send it to politicians and doctors.  Make it clear to them:  If you continue this, you are murderers. 

[Talk by Dr. Andreas Noack, Translated by Stefan Reich (info@botcompany.de) November 25, 2021, originally published Tuesday, November 23, 2021 at 10a.m.]

These claims must be investigated and examined thoroughly by nonpolitical parties interested only in the truth and in human health for the good of humans, not for political agendas, money or fame. 

In the meantime, there are options for removing or detoxing the body from nano graphene oxide/hydroxide particles.  One suggestion is the French Montmorillonite clay.  (Interestingly, Montmorillonite clay is an acid absorber, and Dr. Noack explained in his video that the graphene hydroxide’s electrical charge breaks down into an acid.)  Another is the mineral zeolite chelator “Clean Slate” by Root Brand.

https://therootbrands.com/product/clean-slate/

Essays and Thoughts, Things I've Learned Along the Way

The Soothsayer Spirit

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Soothsayer…an antiquated term we rarely hear today.  Scripture only translates the original language into the term soothsayer a handful of times. 

Balaam was a soothsayer, and Balaam’s word clearly carried a lot of weight.  He was paid handsomely for the art of soothsaying.  But what is it?  It’s not witchcraft.  Most of the times it is translated as “divination” or a “diviner”. 

In the reference in Joshua about Balaam it comes from the Hebrew “gacam”, meaning “to distribute, that is to determine by lot of magical scroll; to divine, prudent, soothsayer, use divination.”  [Strong’s]

Two other words in the Hebrew have been translated similarly [again, Strong’s]:

“gezar:  to quarry; determine:  cut out, soothsayer”

“Anan:  to cover, to cloud over, to act covertly i.e. practice magic:  enchanter…observer of times…soothsayer, sorcerer”

And once in the New Testament it’s used.

Acts 16:16

 And it came to pass, as we went to prayer, a certain damsel possessed with a spirit of divination met us, which brought her masters much gain by soothsaying:

This term comes from the Greek “manteuomai:  to divine, i.e. utter spells under pretense of foretelling, by soothsaying”. 

Eighteen years ago….

Eighteen years ago a stranger stopped me and prophesied over me.  At the end of the prophecy she said this, “God would warn you that a soothsayer will come against you – whether in form or spirit, I don’t know.  This soothsayer will send lies or confusion to you as to make you disbelieve His word and His calling.  He’s warning you ahead of time so you are not deceived or swayed away from Him or His call.”

When I asked her for more understanding, that’s all she had.  She was clear that the word she was given was “soothsayer” and not witchcraft.

I was in my 20s and a young mother.  I had no idea what this meant or what to expect.  It has taken me a long, long time to understand it.  This is what I have learned….

Some time after this I was working with some deliverance ministers and intercessors on personal deliverance.  At one of the sessions one of the gals told me I had a specific thought or emotion as a baby and that I needed to repent of it.  As soon as she told me the emotion I allegedly had as a baby (or small child), my inner being recoiled.  I could not for the life of me understand how I would have had that thought or emotion.  It was well over two decades later and I was not cognizant of ever thinking or feeling what she suggested I thought or felt.   She perceived my reluctance and chided me to accept the revelation of God and respond by asking forgiveness.

I actually had a visceral reaction to this.  I had no problem taking by faith elements of my earliest childhood by inspiration of the Spirit, but I had no inspiration, no confirmation that this was from God.  I had already had several other leadings that were confirmed in me, but this one I had the exact opposite reaction.  I recoiled.  I drew back from the implication and within me immediately pushed back with a resounding no.  No, I did not have that thought or emotion as a baby or small child.

When I questioned her more about it, she refused to move on or answer additional questions and stated she was following the leading of the Spirit.  I implored direction from another intercessor in the session.  That other intercessor did not get a confirmation but instead got a separate word for me that God confirmed and helped me gain deliverance with.

The fallout of that led to a standoff.  The lady declared that I was in rebellion to God by not accepting the word she had brought forth.  She told me we could not continue my sessions until I aligned with that word.  I assured her I would as soon as I got confirmation from the Spirit.  That confirmation never came.  Instead, I was in turmoil and inner conflict as I wrestled over this directive in my own being.  My husband told me to let it go, that she was just a human and could be wrong like anyone else.  He said he did not get a witness to that word.

I prayed over that for days that moved into weeks.  She refused to allow our sessions to go forth.  Because of her position of leadership in the church, no one else would help me.  I turned to self-study through Derek Prince books, prayer and some deliverance conferences.  Nearly a year later I was approached by her to “resume our sessions”.  I was shocked.  The Spirit warned me that same morning that workers of darkness were aligned against me, but I did not know what it meant until I went to that meeting.  She ambushed me by bringing two other people to the meeting to accuse me of things that were blatantly false.  One of the other attendees was a pastor in the church.  I was admonished of being rebellious to spiritual authority and told to submit to their leadership.  I walked away and never went back.  The fallout of that cost me, my children and our family dearly.  My name was slandered and lies were spread about me that took years to expose.

The same woman, in a prominent role of leadership in that church, spread flat out lies about me that would not come to the surface until I was gone.  The damage was done and I moved on.

Fast forward a couple more years.  I had moved on and away from that scene and was in a different church with no overlap of those people.  One of the intercessors from the prior church was powerfully prophetic, and got clear words of knowledge that could not be denied.  She ended up at the same church I was at, and we ministered together in leadership roles for quite a while.

I was the head of a ministry, and in favor with the pastor.  Behind my back this woman went to the pastor and cast seeds of doubt against a program I was running.  She and I had previously had a conversation about that program, and I had gone to the pastor with her stated concerns, and like me, he did not have the same concerns.  So I proceeded with the program.  When she found out, she went behind my back and slurred me to him with unfounded accusations.  When I confronted her, she told me, “I have to obey God, not man.”   Implication:  she was following God to do this.

Again, she was highly prophetic with extremely accurate words of knowledge.  I figured I must’ve missed something, and I moved on.  I didn’t talk with her for a year after that, but circumstances brought us back together.  I looked at her prophetic gift and figured I must’ve been wrong on something, forgave her, and continued in ministry with her.

A couple years later I happenstance ran into the first lady.  ALL of my antennas were up, and I was silently pleading the Blood over myself as she engaged me in small talk.  That night my dog started barking incessantly, pointed in the direction of our alley.  Our back fence was solid metal – you could not see through it.  After fifteen minutes of this barking, I walked out my front door and down the sidewalk to the alley to investigate.  As I was approaching the alley the Spirit warned me to not go down it.  He simply said, “Don’t get off the sidewalk.”  I rarely can see spirits, but there was an enormous ten or twelve foot dark spirit in the alley my dog was barking at.  I knew it was sent through her. 

A couple years later the second lady started coming to the church I was now at, and in a leadership role.  One by one, little things started happening that made no sense.  While I was praying with her, financially assisting her, and ministering with her, she was sowing lies about me in secret conversations.  I felt something off but couldn’t put my finger on it.  And then I found out she wrote a letter to the District Superintendent of our church and told a bold-faced lie about me (that I had been kicked out of six churches).  By this time the damage of her lies had started the demise of many things in that church, and people were being divided and picked off at record rate.

Somewhere along this multi-year journey, the Spirit showed me it was the soothsayer spirit at work against me.  He reminded me of his warning in 2003. 

In my experience, the soothsayer spirit worked through Christians with a strong prophetic gift.  I have no idea whether they are true Christians or not.  I would guess they are, but are being used by the enemy.  I can go back to many words given by some of these highly prophetic people and know they were spot on.  I can go back to many other words given by these same highly prophetic people and know they were dead wrong. 

In my earlier days I had no self confidence.  While I’m prophetic, it has taken me a couple decades to feel confident in the words and revelations God has given me.  I came from a place of brokenness, so I doubted myself regularly.  When those around me with titles and notoriety spoke into my life with their words, I deferred to their experience and reputations. 

One of the common arrows used against me was I was “rebellious”.  Of course I was.  I was raised by a religious spirit of control.  The only way to resist authoritative control is to rebel.  Rebellion was ingrained in me.  It kept me alive.  My adult daughter recently asked my dad why he (my parents) disowned me (when I was sixteen).  He replied, “We couldn’t control her.”  How accurate those words are.  My parents used an iron fist to control me, even down to the clothes I had to wear daily, even down to the emotions on my face and the words out of my mouth.  Personal expression was forbidden, I was punished for laughing even.  The only way to survive for me was to rebel, to push back against their authoritarian control.  Submission was death to my spirit, my inner man.  I would not do so.

Those in the deliverance ministry and with a prophetic gift would have seen that rebellion in me and use it against me, to shame me into submission to more authoritarian control and religious spirits.  It took a prophet from Kenya to prophesy over me (in one of the very churches I was debased and stripped of sovereignty) to free me from the chains they had attempted to put on me. 

So to me the soothsayer spirit is a treacherous spirit that masquerades as prophetic gifting and religious authority.  It did the very thing the prophetic word I was given in 2003 warned me of, “This soothsayer will send lies or confusion to you to make you disbelieve His word and His calling.”  This is exactly what those actions through good Christians did.  The wake of damage from this spirit working against my life has been extensive.  But God. 

There are multiple other examples of how this worked against me for fifteen years, but I don’t have space for all of them.  I tried to pick the bigger more destructive situations it manifested.  So today I am extremely cautious of the prophetic and prophetic words.  I am extremely cautious of those in church authority.  I walk a fine line between honoring those appointed by God and making sure I do not acquiesce to a spirit being used for my destruction.  I err on the side of caution every time.

Soothsayer, by original definition, uses a spirit of divination.  I learned that it can use a prophetic gift most easily, and Christians who have a mixture of flesh and spirit in their walk.  I hope that helps someone else on their journey. 

Things I've Learned Along the Way

healing from trauma, part two

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Overcoming Trauma

I went to dinner recently with one of my best friends.  He got a call when we were at dinner and the call went long.  So I got up and walked around, made a few phone calls myself and returned.  He was still on the phone.  Eventually he moved out to the parking lot when I was walking around.  I just kept circling the parking lot, walking past shops and stores, waiting for the perpetual call to end.  Since we were in a strange city and I was at the mercy of his transportation, I did not seem to have anywhere to go on my own accord.  I was pretty agitated because I thought it was discourteous.  I said my piece and left it at that.

A few days later I was meeting him at a location in another strange city where I knew no one.  I was still in the parking lot when he went into the building.  I had to deal with some issues in my car, and when I went into the (strange and unfamiliar) building, he wasn’t there.  I cannot explain the rage I felt in that moment.  I had no idea where he was and he didn’t answer his phone when I called him.

Minutes later when he resurfaced, I was furious.  I heard myself yell at him in the elevator, “Stop leaving me alone in parking lots!”  I could tell my rage was disproportionate to the event, but couldn’t figure out why.  I asked God why I was so mad.  An image flashed in my mind’s eye of my sister and me sitting in a pickup in the middle of a pasture.

It was a flashback to when I think I was maybe five or six, and she was six or seven.  My parents were farmers and we had gone to this pasture to do something for farm work.  My mom had told us to sit in the truck and wait for her to return.   It was fine at first, as we busied ourselves with playing.  As time progressed we bickered and picked at each other.  Then as more time progressed we panicked.  We were both sure she wasn’t coming back, and we both began sobbing hysterically.  Shortly after our hysteria hit, our mom showed up and was confused and annoyed with our emotional outburst.

As young as we were, we didn’t realize what prompted it.  We had been adopted at ages four and five, and we had been left by our biological mom at ages two and three.  We didn’t have that memory consciously, but clearly we had it subconsciously and it caused us great angst a few years later when what felt like a similar scenario arose.

So as recent as in this last year, being left in a strange city where I knew no one triggered some of that same anxiety.  How odd that forty years later I could still be triggered, albeit to a lesser degree.  When I saw the flashback to my sister and I in the pickup crying hysterically, afraid we had been abandoned by our second mom, I was able to understand my current anger and frustration and move on without it causing more trouble. 

What if I had not had the insight from God on why I was so upset?  I’m sure I would’ve railed on my best friend, caused a rift in our friendship and who knows what other fallout may have occurred.    

Trauma rewires the brain

The human mind is complex.  Trauma rewires your brain.  The younger you are at the time of trauma, the more difficult it is to discern quickly when it is causing a reaction.  If you don’t have the conscious memory of the traumatic event, and you don’t have an awareness, it’s improbable you will ascertain its impact years later in varying situations. 

I’ve spent most of my life healing from various traumas and learning how to walk in health.  Because of how childhood trauma wired me, I’m particularly careful who I let into my inner circle.  I can count those I’ve let in on one hand.  More on that later…

Another more recent event expounds on this.   I had traveled with a best friend to a strange city.  While there an emergency arose for “Mary”.  Mary had to fly out of the city to the emergency, leaving me alone in the strange city for a day.  She would return late the next night.  She asked if I’d be okay at the hotel without a car for a day and a half.  I assured her I would.  I’m a researcher and writer, so being alone is not a problem.  I had her take me to grab some lunch before she left, knowing I’d be limited on meal options over the next 32 hours or so.  She returned a bit later than we expected and I was famished.  Because it was almost eleven, not many places were open and I opted to just go to bed after driving to try to find food.

Mary left the next day for some meetings that took way longer than expected.  This was day three.  As the day progressed and night fell, I could tell my psyche was struggling but I didn’t know why.  I was hungry.  It was the end of the third day and I still hadn’t had a meal since the original lunch.  I finally opted to go to bed, praying the whole time trying to figure out why I was so bothered.

Mary offered to take me to get food when she returned from her meetings, but again, it was too late for any real food places to be open.  I wasn’t mad at Mary, but I was struggling and didn’t understand why.  I was tearful and wanted to cry the rest of the night.  I prayed a lot, asking God why I was so troubled, but finally opted to go to bed in hopes of waking to a new day. 

When I awoke on day four, I was indifferent.  I determined I would do what I had to do to get a meal and not rely upon Mary (she had the only mode of transportation).  I sought the Lord that morning about why I was so bothered.  I wondered if it was from some of the heavy stuff I was researching and maybe it had settled in more deeply than I realized.  Then I saw an image flash across my mind’s eye.  It was a kitchen stool sitting along a wall.

Then I saw my childhood home and the kitchen dining room area.  The kitchen stool sat along the kitchen wall, and the long table stretched in the adjoining dining area.  One of my punishments in my childhood was sitting on that stool.  For hours.  Often it would be as the family sat and had a meal and I did without.

Now I’m going to get into some details that will take some time, but it’s necessary to help understand the complexities of the human mind and the rewiring trauma does. 

When I was doing deliverance work for myself, I worked with a couple people who specialized in deliverance and intercession.   Because I was adopted, there’s not a lot I know about my birth mother other than what I’ve been able to piece together over time from some interviews and some court records.

During one of my deliverance sessions, one of my intercessors saw me as a little girl, maybe one or two, and I was beside a large tree looking up at the apple hanging down, trying to stretch out my hand to get one but couldn’t reach.  There was a ladder, but the first rung was too high for me to reach.  And she got the scripture, Psalm 145:15:  “The eyes of all look to You, and You give them their food in due time.”

As we prayed the intercessors got that my nutritional needs during early childhood were amiss.  My biological mom had alcohol, drug and sex addictions.  She smoked when she was pregnant with me.  She was in poverty and food was hit and miss in the home (from the state child welfare records).  When we got adopted a few years later, my new mom’s methods of discipline included withholding food.

So there was an early childhood trauma of malnourishment, and it was compounded by a later action of withholding food, punishment from food.  The first trauma rewired the brain, and the second reinforced it.  It’s taken me a lot of years to manage some eating dysfunctions I have (mostly binging, sometimes hoarding food). 

How are these traumas healed?  How are they overcome?

Trauma rewires the brain.  The solution and healing to the trauma is found in God.  The eyes of all look to You and You give them their food in due time.  This is the truth.  God provides even when man fails.

The events of the four days without a meal thing (I had snacks, it’s not like I was starving) created phantom pains for me, reminiscent of earlier traumas.  I’m healed.  I don’t struggle with eating disorders and unhealthy thought patterns about food anymore.  And yet, forty years later, a situation had just enough similarity to trigger a phantom pain or fear. 

Had it not been for the insight I received when I petitioned the Lord for why I was struggling (the flashback of the kitchen stool), I would not have had the awareness that this was just trauma trying to reinsert itself in my thinking and create additional drama in my life.  As soon as I saw the kitchen stool I had an immediate awareness that this was a false affliction. 

What I’m trying to do is two-fold:  address trauma triggers and address solutions. 

Because of how trauma rewires the brain, in future situations that rewiring causes dramatic reactions that otherwise would not be there.  Something gets rewired to assess situations through a trauma filter, and in the future, similar situations can trigger the trauma responses.

The solution is Christ, of course.  But that’s such a pat answer to such a complex condition.  Let’s look at it like this….

Give yourself some grace when you feel triggered.  Try not to react in dramatic measure.  When you feel yourself reacting disproportionately to the circumstances pull back and breathe in deeply.  Recognize something is amiss and give yourself time to work through it.  Don’t berate yourself if your immediate reaction is inappropriate.  It probably will be, because trauma causes that.  Just try to catch it quicker the next time.  You’ll find as time goes by the triggers will come fewer and further between.  Again, give yourself grace.

Give others in the situation grace, understanding they don’t perceive the current situation through a trauma filter.   My friends couldn’t possibly know I was having an uncontrolled reaction based on a trauma stimulus.  Heck, it took me awhile to figure it out.  Give them grace, and don’t feel like you need to explain yourself.  Trauma and trauma responses are vulnerability issues.  I hate being vulnerable to anyone, and I try to keep these things completely between me and God.  Sometimes, however, if it’s someone I love and trust deeply, I will bring them into my trauma circle for a moment.

About ten years ago I was doing dishes and looked out the window and saw the traffic police pull up to radar for a school zone.  I was immediately enraged, like I went from do-ta-do to ARGHH in a split second.  The contempt I had for those cops was off the charts.  After a few minutes I asked God, “Why do I feel like this?  They’re just doing their job!”  He responded, “Because police took you away from your mom when you were two.  You’ve hated police ever since.”

Know this:  I do not have a conscious memory of police taking me away.  I was too young to remember or I repressed it.  But the trauma trigger for me still existed.  I asked God what to do.  He told me to forgive the policeman who took me away, and to forgive police in general.  I did.  That anger left that day and has not returned.  Sometimes I have phantom twinges trying to pull me back into that anger, but I recall the truth (I have forgiven them and they are just doing their job) and I choose to walk in that truth instead.

This leads me back to the Christ answer.  Christ has the answer for each of your traumas.  He knows what was rewired.  He knows what triggers you and why.  Learn to ask Him.  He can and will heal it.  I can already hear some of you, “But I don’t hear God like you do.”  I know.  I know.  It’s not that you don’t hear Him; it’s that you haven’t recognized the way He speaks to you.

Sometimes He answers with a thought in my head, sometimes with a memory recall, sometimes with an image (like the kitchen stool, or the pickup in the empty pasture), and sometimes it takes a few days.  But if you seek Him, you will find Him.  Learn to hear.  Learn to respond.  The more you respond, the easier it becomes to hear.  You’ll eventually stop doubting and start trusting. 

Trauma can be healed.  Trauma can be overcome.  For me, God has been the surest way to do so.

Things I've Learned Along the Way

How I’ve learned to hear the Voice of God

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I hear God in a variety of ways, so I’m going to touch on a few of them, and what I’ve learned about God along the way.

I’ve learned God is a personal God.  While He has corporate messages for the children of God that come through various mouthpieces He uses, He is also very interested in personal relationships with His children individually.  In fact, He speaks more regularly and directly to His individual children than He gives through corporate messages.  I honestly think everyone has heard the voice of God, but maybe just haven’t recognized it. 

Mostly, His is the still small voice in your head that sounds like your own, but maybe not how you’d say it.  The best illustration I’ve heard of this is the baby in the womb who hears his mother’s voice from the moment his hearing is developed.  For several months he hears this voice and it is familiar to him.  Then when he is born, at some point the baby will turn his head toward the same voice.

People who haven’t recognized the voice of God yet are like the baby in the womb, hearing it, but not identifying it yet.  There is a time we leave the womb (figuratively) and we begin to turn our head to that same voice out of the womb, and we begin to identify it.  We start to get a face and an identity to go with that voice, and we grow in our relationship with that voice.

Trial and Error

Most of the experiences I’ve had with the still small voice have been a process of trial and error.  A thought will come to me that isn’t quite what I was thinking, isn’t quite the way I would think it, and I’ll ask if that was God.  Then I’ll begin a process of discernment.  Does it contradict or align with Scripture?  Does it contradict or align with the character of God?  (That’s a bit trickier because we have some false concepts of God.  More on that in a minute.) 

For me, sometimes the voice comes out of the blue when I’m not even praying or conversing with God, when I’m not necessarily thinking about the thing that is said by God.  These are almost always the voice of God.  [For example, one day I was driving eastward on 21st St. and His voice, that sounded a lot like my own thoughts, said, “Do you know what your problem is, Michelle?”  Well that was undeniably God.  If I had asked the question, I would’ve known the answer.  It came separate from my own thoughts, and caught me by surprise.  – and THAT is a fantastic story of something I learned both about myself and the character of God, but will make this article too long.)

He also speaks to me in prayer or when I’m hammering something out with Him.  Discernment is what enables me to recognize and understand when it’s His voice.  This is the trickier part when it comes during prayer or a conversation.  (We also must learn to cover our prayers with the Blood of Christ, because dark spirits like to interject into our thoughts and pretend to be God or just deceive.)  Through time and trial and error, we’re able to discern His voice in prayer and dialogue with Him.  Just practice and keep practicing.  When you think it may be Him, proceed as though it is and see where it goes.  Sometimes we recognize it later when we think back on something and then realize, oh no, that was the voice of God and I thought it was my own thoughts.  Over time it gets easier and easier.  We will miss it sometimes, but as we practice hearing, we’ll miss it less and less.

God frequently speaks to us via our thoughts.  They sound like our own thoughts, but discernment teaches us how to sift ours from God’s, and the enemy’s (because he inserts himself into our thoughts as well).  The process of trial and error is what sharpens us to more easily and quickly discerning when God is speaking to us.

[False concepts of God – Sidebar]

I only address this because it needs to be said.  We carry a whole lot of false concepts of who God is in our being.  Initially we struggle with transference.  We transfer our dad or mom or our parents’ character onto who or what we think God is.  That’s probably the first false concept we have to shatter.

The longer we’ve been in the institutional church, the more false concepts we’ll have of God.  There’s just too much false teaching, too many feel good doctrines as well as wrath of God doctrines, and we’ll gravitate to what’s most familiar to us.  Then without a lot of introspection, we’ll apply those doctrines to our perspective of God.

We basically have to strip our expectations bare and allow God to reveal who He is to us, without all the filters we insist we don’t have.  Otherwise, we’ll wrongly attribute the voice of the enemy as God’s, because the enemy has been studying you since birth and knows how you think, and you’ll recognize the familiarity and accept it.  Or we’ll discard or reject a word from God because it doesn’t sound like it could possibly be God (our version of who we think God is). 

Dreams

God spoke to me in dreams a lot when I was going through deliverance from past traumas and abuse.  It was a long season, and I didn’t know who or what to trust.  God, who knitted me together in my mother’s womb, knew I was scared and untrusting.  So He chose to depict scenes and scenarios in my dream life to speak to me separate from my mind.  I’m intellectually driven, and God had to bypass my intellect to reach me in the regions of the soul and spirit.  My intellect would have overridden His leading by the deception it was in, and I was unaware of this at the time.  So it was dreams.  And I had to learn the language of God through dreams.  It circumvented my intellect very well, and He was able to begin a long, thorough process of walking me through healing and deliverance.

Now He does not speak to me in dreams as much.  I’ve learned how to let my spirit follow His Spirit, and my intellect is kept in check (most of the time) to keep me from sabotaging His efforts.  But He will break through to me in dreams when He has a special message or something He wants to show me that doesn’t follow our normal avenues of connection.  I’ve learned how to hear and see Him through His dream messages, and they’re still some of my favorite exchanges with Him.  I love them because I can’t contrive them.  I’ve learned some valuable lessons about dream life, the subconscious, garrisoning the imagination, etc.  Maybe I’ll write more on that later. 

Just like everything else, your dream life needs covered in the Blood of Christ.  The enemy can invade your dream life as well.

Nature

This may be one of my favorite ways God communicates with me.  He expresses Himself to me through nature.  From observation of nature, He speaks to me about His character.  He shows me things about human nature and Himself.  His presence is more vivid to me in these times. 

Other People

This is one of the fewest ways God speaks to me.   I’ve been burned too many times by charlatans and forked tongues.  He knows I don’t trust people or their motives (for the most part), so I don’t receive messages very well through other people.  When I do get messages from God via other people, it is usually quite plain.  It’s a phrase He has previously dropped in my spirit.  It’s a topic that He keeps revisiting me with.  It’s an undeniable addressing of something only He would know. 

But He does speak to me through my husband.  I am able to hear Him through my husband, and occasionally another person I dearly love and trust. 

His Word

He speaks to me through His Word.  Sometimes when reading it, He elucidates a point.  Many times I feel His presence and get a “knowing”.  I just know and understand something that bypassed my intellect and normal modes of reasoning.  He simply “downloads” understanding to me.

He then uses His Word throughout my day.  He’ll speak to me in circumstances and show me how to apply His Word.  A Scripture or story from the Bible will come to my thoughts and I’ll see how it applies.  He will impress a particular Scripture on me sometimes when I’m praying for someone, and it will give me better direction on how to pray.

Numbers

He speaks to me in numbers.  This probably came about for me because of all the dreams in the earlier years.  There would be a number of something (four empty bar stools in the four corners of a room, four rotten eggs, four broken teeth and four exploded cars in four different dreams – many years ago.  Other things like a dollar amount will be stated or written, a clock will be exposed, etc.) in my dreams and I’d have to seek the meaning of the number to understand the interpretation of the dream.

I downloaded and printed out E.W. Bullinger’s “Number in Scripture”, and have a number of dream books with number meanings.  These were my go to for years.

Sometimes God will wake me up in the night, and the time will be a Scripture reference that speaks to me about something God wants me to understand.  For example, one night I woke up at 3:51.  I got up, went downstairs, got something to drink.  Came back upstairs and went to the bathroom, fiddling around.  When I went back to bed, the clock still said 3:51.  This was an “impossibility”.  I asked God what I was supposed to understand.  As I searched for understanding, I discovered there were three books in the Bible with a 51st chapter (Psalm, Isaiah, Jeremiah).  They each dealt with various deliverance issues (personal, corporate and national). 

But yeah, God still speaks to me in numbers in my dreams, the clock, my daily encounters, etc.

And He’s speaking to you

It may be any number of these examples that He talks to you, or a whole different combination.  I know a gal who gets messages from God from license plates.  I’ve tried that.  (correlate the license plate number to a Strong’s number and apply it to the prayer need)  It doesn’t work for me, but it plainly and obviously did for her.  I don’t discount that because it doesn’t really apply to me but does to her.

If I’ve learned anything, it’s that God is personal.  He knows us intimately and He speaks to us personally.  The way I talk to my best friend is different than the way I speak with the checker at the store is different than I speak to my daughter.  And the way I speak to one of my daughters is not necessarily the way I speak to another of my daughters.  I respond to people individually with tailored language that’s based on a myriad of things… our relationship, their personality (and mine), the topic of discussion, our history together, my mood or his/hers, etc. 

The way God talks to me may make another person cry!  (“Do you know what your problem is, Michelle?”)  But He knows me.  He speaks my language.  He knows when He has to circumvent my intellect and when to engage with it.  And as He has painstakingly made His ways known to me as I have sought Him, just as He does and will do for each of His children He calls by name. 

On a separate post I will write up one of my favorite encounters with Him on this.

Essays and Thoughts, National Issues

How do we get there from here?

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Last week I introduced my understanding that the current events in our nation were more about God than our political climate.  I’ve read your emails and will address most of your questions and concerns. 

Ask the Spirit to give you a fresh revelation of God.  This is not to imply that you do not know God and do not have your own revelation(s) of God.  But for this purpose of wanting to see where we are as a nation under attack, ask God for a fresh revelation of “He who sits above the circle of the earth.”  [Is. 40:22]  Ask Him for a fresh revelation of “He who sits in the Heavens and laughs” at the kings and rulers of the earth who have aligned against Him.  [Ps. 2]

Understand that I am presenting under the premise of a cosmic war.

When I was teaching my forty-hour class, the Spirit of the Lord really impressed upon me that the great Exodus from Egypt was a showdown between the God of Israel and the gods of the current world power:  Egypt. 

The great magicians of Egypt were expert diviners.  Balaam and his sons, Jannes and Jambres, (Jasher 79 and 2 Tim. 3:8) led the rebuttal of the shows of power between what the God of Israel and the gods of Egypt could do.  They were able to replicate the first acts of power.  Why?  Because a man can turn water into blood or a rod into a snake?  No.  Because they were given power from their own gods, the gods of Egypt, just as Moses was given power from his God.

It’s really no different today; religion has just sophisticated the battle.  We don’t look at it as gods against God.  We’ve somehow lost the perspective of supernatural deities and relegated them strictly to an institutionalized church with neat little side comments, but no real solid teaching.  We make sidebar mention of cults, but never address the spiritual reality of the truth of the matter.  (Which is part of the reason the institutional church will rise up as an adversary to those who walk this out.)

It’s still a little disconcerting to me that we can look at the symbolism of modern entertainment, whether it be movies or music or even the sports arena, and not see the homage to their gods.  How can we not look at things like the Olympics opening ceremonies and the ceremony for Cern and not realize they are engaged in rituals that draw on the powers of darkness and their gods?  Truly the god of this world has worked overtime to blind the eyes of God’s people.

The fact of the matter is the foreign gods of the uncircumcised nations has infiltrated the nations of the covenant.  (I could write a whole paper on this alone.)

Our patriarchs were no better.  When Levi and Simeon killed the city of Shechem, in order to protect the family of Israel Jacob instructed his family to put away their foreign gods.  Why in the world would Jacob’s family, the heirs of Abraham’s covenant with Yahweh, have foreign gods?  And yet they did.  (Genesis 35)

When God instituted the Passover, He plainly said it was to execute judgment against the gods (elohiym, deities) of Egypt.  (Ex. 12:12)  He didn’t say they were false gods.  He didn’t say they were idols.  He said they were deities.  And the Supreme God posited Himself against these lesser deities as an epic showdown.  Remember that in Exodus 8, Egypt’s magicians could no longer replicate the signs (plagues) of Moses and said to Pharaoh, “This is the finger of God.”  (They used the term for a deity instead of the Name of the Supreme God because they did not know the name of the Supreme God.) 

[Look at Jasher 79:43-47

“And when the king saw this thing [Aaron’s rod swallowed up the magicians’ rods], he ordered the book of records that related to the kings of Egypt, to be brought, and they brought the book of records, the chronicles of the kings of Egypt, in which all the idols of Egypt were inscribed, for they thought of finding therein the name of Jehovah, but they found it not. 44. And Pharaoh said to Moses and Aaron, Behold I have not found the name of your God written in this book, and his name I know not. 45. And the counsellors and wise men answered the king, We have heard that the God of the Hebrews is a son of the wise, the son of ancient kings. 46. And Pharaoh turned to Moses and Aaron and said to them, I know not the Lord whom you have declared, neither will I send his people. 47. And they answered and said to the king, The Lord God of Gods is his name, and he proclaimed his name over us from the days of our ancestors…”]

No, they do not know the Name of our God.  They didn’t then, and most of them don’t now.

For understanding, use a concordance and look up “gods”, then look at the passages that accompany it.  Look at the song of Moses in Deuteronomy 32 and his historical account of the Israelites sacrificing “to demons who were not God, to gods whom they have not known, new gods who came lately whom your fathers did not dread.” [vs. 17] 

Deborah reiterates it in Judges 5:8, “new gods were chosen, then war was in the gates.” 

These are indictments for God’s chosen people aligning with the gods of the other nations, uncircumcised nations without a covenant with the Supreme God.

Consider Judges 10 when God admonishes His people to cry out to the gods they have aligned with. God does not lie.  He wasn’t speaking anecdotally.   Judges 10:6 is explicit in the gods they were serving. 

When Samuel cried out to God for the Israelites, God expressly told Samuel (8:8) that they had rejected Him for the other gods.  Study this out!  Recognize that the gods of other nations didn’t cease to exist.  They didn’t then and they haven’t now.

Both the problem and the solution are clearly presented in the Word of God.  The problem is humanity struggles to adhere to the Creator God and is continually tempted to entertain other gods, lesser gods, but gods nonetheless.  The solution is adherence to the Supreme God and it is found over and over and over again in the Scriptures.

I don’t have time to get into it, but reread the account of David and Goliath.  Look at 1Sam. 17:43 where Goliath cursed David by his gods.  David’s response was plainly to call upon the Name of the true God.  Look at 1Sam. 26:19 where David laments that people have tried to drive him from his inheritance of the true God and cajoled him to “serve other gods”.  These are not mere stories.  These are practical realities both then and now.

Now look at David’s prayer in 2Sam. 7, specifically verse 23 when he acknowledges that God has redeemed His people from Egypt and their gods.  As you walk through the rest of Scripture you will see a people group who struggled to walk with loyalty to the God who created and redeemed them.  Various deliverers were raised at various times to once again establish the unmatched sovereignty of the true God. 

From Gideon to Samson, from Deborah to Josiah, there is no shortage of people raised at different times who put aside the influence of other gods and adhered to the true God, bringing deliverance to God’s people.

Enter Christ.

Enter a better covenant, the new covenant (new testament).  Now the people of Yahweh, Jehovah, the Creator God are not relegated to a boundary in the Middle East.  Now the people of the Supreme God are not relegated to a bloodline or the religious tenets of Judah.  Now the people who want to follow the true God have access through the sacrifice of His Son. 

But you say, America is Babylon.  No, America is not.  (I used to think that.)  America is the seed of Abraham, the people of Manasseh and Ephraim.  The bloodlines have been traced; the migratory patterns of the people are documented.  I can point you to resources to help your understanding, just write me. 

Babylon is not a place, it’s a system.  It roots back to Nimrod’s rule and the tower of Babel where the nations of the earth aligned to overthrow God, and God responded by scattering the nations and removing the Noahite Covenant with them.  He abandoned the nations to the lesser gods (Deut. 32:8).  [See Dr. Heiser’s expose on this here and here.]

God established His covenant with Abraham and Abraham’s seed.  The people of the covenant became the benchmark for finding the true God.  God has never abandoned His covenant with Abraham.  Abraham’s seed were to become nations that blessed the other nations (“and in him all nations on the earth will be blessed.”)  [Gen. 18:18] 

Babylon, the system of the lesser gods was deeply embedded in the world, whether it be socially, economically, religiously or politically, this system has steadily grown through empire after empire, people group after people group.  They have never altered from their course to corrupt mankind, to turn mankind from the Creator.  This system has systematically enslaved humanity to corruption of every kind.  From serving other gods, to polluting humanity’s DNA, from transgressing the commands of God, to establishing wickedness in the upper echelons of society, Mystery Babylon is the religion and system of Nimrod and the nations who serve the lesser gods.  They have polluted even the Church of God with its false teachings and idol worship, its Nicolaitan hierarchy of a pyramid structure of man worship, and yes, even the sexual sins of Balaam.  [Rev. 2:14-16]

America is not Babylon, but it has been compromised by it.

But you say God does not protect the wicked, and America is replete with wickedness from its murderous abortion mills, to its insidious sexual perversions, from its injustice to the weak and poor and righteous, to its underground and undercover satanic perversions and child abductions, rapes and sacrifices.  America has bowed the knee to mammon and its economic structure serves the wicked while treading down the righteous.

Agreed.  You couldn’t be more correct.  God judges sin.  God will not save a nation because it (rightfully) claims to be the seed of Abraham, anymore than he saved the wicked religious population of Christ’s day.  (John 8:39-47)  As John the Baptist said (Luke 3:8), God is able to raise up sons of Abraham from the stones, and the axe is at the root of the trees to cut off the unfruitful.

But you say the sons of Abraham are the believers of Christ.  Agreed.  Galatians 3:7 is not lost on me and is very relevant today: 

Gal 3:7-9  NASU

Therefore, be sure that it is those who are of faith who are sons of Abraham.  The Scripture, foreseeing that God would justify the Gentiles by faith, preached the gospel beforehand to Abraham, saying, “ALL THE NATIONS WILL BE BLESSED IN YOU.”  So then those who are of faith are blessed with Abraham, the believer.

And this is where our victory is, this is what I’m trying to convey.  Because we are the sons of Abraham by both the Abrahamic covenant and the Messianic covenant, we can call on the covenant blessings and protections.  We can save our nation by calling upon the Name of the God of our nation.  We only need to “put away the foreign gods.”  We only need to repent of our sin.

Do you see it yet?  Moses, Joshua, Gideon, Samuel, David, Elijah, Elisha, Josiah, Peter and Paul and ALL the seed of the covenant that confronted both the people and the deities they were in the midst of called upon the Name of the true God and were delivered.  Were the people in their nations righteous?  Were the nations themselves righteous?  Nope.  None of them were.  Yet God is concerned with His Name.  

In the epic showdown between Baal and Jehovah, the people in Israel were worshipping Baal, NOT Jehovah.  There was a man willing to stand and confront the wickedness of both the King and Queen, AND the god they were endorsing.  Where are our Elijahs????  When the music and entertainment industry endorse their gods, where are our Elijahs???  Who is confronting them by standing on the truth of the Supreme God?

When the political systems and unrighteous political heads oppress their people and enforce tyrannical laws, who is confronting them with the truth of the Supreme God??? 

When the economic system of mammon adulation and enriching the wicked lives by extorting the working and righteous, who is confronting them with the truth of the Supreme God???

When the school boards and county commissions are parading their perversions into our children’s lives and oppressing our communities with their corrupt and wicked rules, who is confronting them with the truth of the Supreme God???  What about the election boards?  What about the attorney generals and judges who continue to pervert justice and reward the wicked?

We do not wring our hands in despair.  We are not to be like Saul’s army where David’s brothers were quaking at the threat of the uncircumcised Philistine army and its giant(s).  We are to be like David who asks who dares to defy the living God with mockery and threats.  It matters not where the battle is, whether in the political realm, the judicial system, the economic constructs or even the pulpit of the institutional church.  If we know our God and we understand our position in Him, we cannot fail.  He desires to make His Name known that the people of the earth will come to Him and abandon their lesser gods.  How will they know His greatness if we do not demonstrate it?  Why would they forsake their gods of perversion and corruption when they pay so well if they cannot see the reward of serving the living God?

Whether Trump is reinstated or not does not leave Americans helpless.  Yes the election fraud should be contested and rectified.  Yes there’s a plan to move America and the world into a global tyranny through covid.  Yes foreign actors have infiltrated our industries and even our soil. 

No I don’t think political leaders are going to represent Christ and call on the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.  We should not expect them to.  They’ve been infiltrated by the gods of the nations.  WE, every Christian who understands Christ’s covenant with us and God’s covenant with Abraham, must take our places on the battlegrounds before us and call upon the Name that is superior, the Name of the Creator and Supreme God to defend His covenant and His people.

When a tornado is headed for your city you don’t pause to take inventory of how righteous the city is before you address the threat.  You rebuke the destruction.  If the tornado is deterred, you’ve saved the city.  If it skips your home and destroys your neighbors, you’ve saved your family.  This is the attitude we must take, and to do so we must recognize that the gods and their followers have arrayed themselves against THE God and His.  Take your places and be the true sons and daughters of the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, through Christ.

Raw, Things I've Learned Along the Way

Healing from Trauma, part one

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At about fifteen, I was sitting on our home’s back porch when I saw a memory play out in my mind, like a flash, without solicitation on my part.  But it was the memory of my parents waking me up in the middle of the night and motioning me to stay quiet so as not to wake my siblings, and to put on my robe and come downstairs.  I’m guessing I was around eight, because I put on the pink Strawberry Shortcake robe my grandma had gotten me (around that age) and followed them downstairs to the well-lit kitchen.  My parents were standing there with a large box in the middle of the floor.

They told me to pick out my favorite toys and put them in the box.  I thought it was a game, and hurriedly selected my favorite toys to fill the box.  After a few trips to the box, my mom explained something in my behavior that was particularly displeasing (I can’t recall what), and then told me to put my shoes on.  My dad picked up the box and the three of us walked outside into the night sky, where we walked past the tire swing and the clothes line, down to the fence line.  My dad put the box in the burn barrel and lit it.  I don’t remember the walk back to the house.

I do remember waking up the next morning and wondering if it was a dream or if it had really happened.  I went downstairs and looked for all of those toys I remembered putting in the box, and they weren’t there.

Obviously I had repressed that memory for a number of years.  I don’t know why it came back on that particular day, but I do recall the feelings that came with it, mainly horror, shame and confusion.  I did not know what to do with that memory, and was not comfortable telling anyone, so I put it on a shelf in my mind.

About a decade later, I had my first child and she was just a few months old.  A block down from me was a garage sale, and I put her in the stroller and headed to it.  A box on the floor in the garage caught my eye.  It was full of assorted wall papers.  I was drawn to three rolls, all the same.  I am not a fan of wall paper, but was compelled to buy these three rolls.  I liked the coloring, with a muted antique look.  I bought them and maybe a couple other small things and we rolled back home.

I put my daughter down for a nap and began to unpack the stroller.  I was more curious about these wallpaper rolls and set them on the table.  I rolled one out to see the pattern and was quite startled to see it was a Holly Hobbie print.  Immediately I had a flash memory recall of myself as a four year old, sitting in a child’s rocker in the corner of the living room, cradling a Holly Hobbie doll in my arms, rocking.

I was adopted at four years old the day after Christmas.  My new parents gave me a Holly Hobbie doll.  This was the first time I remembered it was burned with the box of toys.  Silent tears slipped down my face, and I heard the Spirit say, “I will replace everything the enemy has stolen from you.”

This was one of my most poignant encounters with healing from trauma.  I had not sought it out, did not know what to do with the memory recalls or the silent suffering stuffed in the recesses of my fragmented heart. 

I only told my husband about this.  The house we lived in did not have an appropriate room for the wall paper, so it sat in a closet, but still — I had that encounter with the God who sees our suffering.  I knew He cared.  There was a tangible reminder.

About three years later and two kids later, we loaded up our family to visit another family with small children for Christmas.  We were going to sing carols and share a Christmas soup meal together.  We were both on limited budgets with small children and had agreed to no gift exchanges, so I was startled when Catherine pulled me aside and pressed a small box in my hand.  She simply said God had told her to give it to me.

There was a card with it and all it said was, “As near as I can remember, I was eight years old when my parents gave me this.  God asked me to give it to you.”  In the small box was a child’s necklace with a Holly Hobbie pendant. 

This is the God we serve.  This is the God who knows us intimately, who loves us.  He sees our pain and knows our afflictions.  He is keenly acquainted with our sorrows and sufferings.

It would be a few years later and a different house before that wallpaper was hung in a spare bedroom.  By the time it was hung, there was a small collection of Holly Hobbie paraphernalia, including a tattered Holly Hobbie doll, almost all given to me by random people at random times.  It was my reminder that God sees, God knows, God cares. 

I don’t know how God is going to heal your trauma, I just know He wants to.  He knows every part of it, and that includes the emotions that got damaged, the way it rewired your thoughts and made you cautious instead of free-spirited, guarded instead of accepting, and a number of other things I haven’t listed. 

For me, I was able to move through the stages of healing by acknowledging the reality of the experience, but in the presence or company of my loving God who did not wish this for me.  I was able to bear the reawakened pain because He accompanied me in the midst.  It’s not that it didn’t hurt, it’s that I wasn’t alone in the hurt.  He began to teach me, through this and dozens more to come, that He can be trusted to heal even what appears damaged beyond repair.

It just took time, time to feel what you could not handle at the age of the trauma.  Those feelings had to come to the forefront, and I had to acknowledge them.  Then I could give them to Him.  And all the lies that came with the trauma had to be exposed for what they were.  There were lies that told me I was unworthy, undeserving, and unwanted.  One by one, the Spirit of God began to deal with me by replacing the lies with truths, but His Truth. 

I’ll share more of this journey of healing from trauma in the weeks to come.  I just want you to know you do not have to live in the trauma for the rest of your life.  Healing is possible and available.  

Today I am in my third house from that experience.  The Holly Hobbie room was sold with the second house, and the only thing that made the trip to my current house is the Holly Hobbie doll and necklace.  They sit on my bookshelves as quiet reminders that God saw my pain and healed it.  It doesn’t pain me to see them anymore.  It brings me great comfort and joy and reassurance about the One who created me.  That’s available to you and anyone who wants free from the impact and effects of trauma.